


There is No War in Ba Sing Se

by Polywantsanother



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Multiple Timelines, Drama, F/M, Not Canon Compliant, Slow Burn, and Zuko has a Bad Time, but don't expect much because they're children, friends to strangers to friends, mulligan au, they must find the avatar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-11
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2019-12-27 02:57:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 19,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18295460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Polywantsanother/pseuds/Polywantsanother
Summary: Zuko went to bed as the new Fire Lord; the war had been ended, his friends were safe, and his uncle was running a tea shop. His future was, finally, hopeful.When Zuko woke up, he was back on his ship sailing toward Sokka and Katara's village.Lu Ten is alive, Aang is still missing, and there is no war in Ba Sing Se. Still, Sozin's Comet is coming, and Zuko thinks it's his only way back to his timeline.If this one doesn't kill him first.Updates every Thursday!





	1. 1

It was the icy fingers of a cold wind, prodding him from a gap in the blanket, that woke Zuko from his sleep. He had gone to bed exhausted; seeing off his friends and staying awake for too long, terrified by what laid ahead.

He pulled the blanket tighter around him and repeated his mantra, as well worn as prayer beads of the devout by this point.

_The war is over. You are Fire Lord. The world is safe. Your friends love you._

Zuko repeated the words over and over yet still his body began to tremble. Except for this time, it wasn’t the fear. It really was the cold.

CLANG!

The metallic sound made him sit upright, his heart pounding in his chest as rapid as a bird’s. It was dark and he could not see, but he knew that sound. And now, he recognized the scent of the frigid air.

Holding up a hand, as if he were waiting for the darkness to hand him something, Zuko hesitated. His hand shook - the cold was very persistent - and he swallowed hard in his dry throat.

“Please.” He said, beseeching the darkness. Please let this be a nightmare.

He breathed out a flame and illuminated the room.

It was tiny and metal, with the familiar tapestry of the Fire Nation emblem hanging on the wall next to where his bed lay.

It was the small cabin of a warship.

Zuko immediately extinguished the flame and his hands went into his hair. His breathing hastened erratically, and he felt his blood slam through his veins. It both warmed and numbed him, this physical panic that draped over him as a new blanket.

The ship he had taken to the South Pole had been much the same. But this was over, he had already done this. He could not do it again.

Zuko squeezed his eyes shut and gripped his hair. It hurt, but he still was not waking himself.

Abruptly, he let go and brought his hands down slowly. He looked at them, only able to see the faint whiteness of his skin in the dark.

He didn’t have this hair back then.

Lightly touching his face, he brought his fingertips to his cheeks. Tapping in a wide circle, he had to force them upward with conscious thought.

When he felt the space, his hands jerked away and he scrabbled backward into the wall. It was cold and he had hit it hard enough to bruise his spine, but he only felt the stillness of his heart. His breath left him and his inner fire dimmed.

Then all at once, the air returned and Zuko was gasping.

He didn’t have his scar.


	2. 2

Pulling on more clothes, Zuko stood still trembling in the small vacant space of his quarters. He had felt his body as he dressed and found no other obvious signs of change, save for one. Again, his hand hovered above the spot on his abdomen, but he dared not touch it.

His flesh, from head to toe, was unblemished.

Pushing out of the heavy iron door, Zuko stuck his head out into the empty hall. Save for the noises of the ship itself, it was quiet. After one last shudder, Zuko stepped out of the room and shut the door. It creaked and groaned on its metal hinges and Zuko squeezed his eyes shut. Still, no one came, and he tried to ease the tension in his back.

He walked down the hall, his eyes straining in the red light cast from the sconces on the walls. Everything was just the same as it had been last year, but this was not his past.

Thoughts swam as Zuko pushed through the darkness down the thin hall. Then almost blundered into the vertical ladder bolted into the wall and felt the jolt of fear when he reached it. Putting a hand to the rungs, he looked up at the closed doorway.

A sigh before he pulled himself upward.

As daylight poured through the opening, Zuko’s eyes watered and the door swung heavy away from him. It hit the steel deck with a much louder clang and then he could hear running footsteps.

A pair of masked guards reached him just as he emerged.

“Ah! Your Highness!” One of them said as they both bowed their salute.

Zuko masked his hesitation by brushing invisible dirt from his hands on his pants. The air was frigid and smelled like ice.

“Where are we?” He asked.

“Still in the Sharptooth Sea. We’re trying to find a port of entry nearest to the village.” The other guard answered.

The same as last time. Yet that time, they had not bothered to find a safe place to pull in.

“Was there a, light?” Zuko asked haltingly.

“No sir.” The second guard replied uneasily. “Did you see something? Below deck?”

“No. No.” Zuko said, far too quickly to be natural. He ran a hand through his hair, a common gesture now but not then. “And my uncle-”

“We have already sent word to the Fire Lord when we sighted the village.” The first guard interrupted. “Are you feeling well sir?”

Zuko froze with his hand still in his hair.

Fire Lord?

“Is everything okay?” A new voice said and Zuko turned.

Lu Ten blinked back at him.

And everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this was short but you will be oh so happy I have a buffer when that Depression™ hits and I don't write anything for two months! :D
> 
> Thanks for reading, see you next week!


	3. 3

There was warmth. As Zuko rubbed his eyes, he smiled. It had been a bizarre dream and uncomfortable. Sitting up in bed, he stretched and looked around his room.

And found the metal walls.

There was no fear this time, only numb confusion. Either he had finally succumbed to the madness that seemed inherent in Sozin’s line or else he had been cursed.

Zuko had no idea what he could even do next. If he acted as if this was all real, it didn’t change the fact that he was a stranger here. His cousin Lu Ten was dead, his uncle retired to Ba Sing Se, and this trip had already happened in a vastly different way.

Zuko’s heartbeat paused for a terrified moment.

Was Aang at the village?

He had no way of knowing how much was different and how much he should already know. Even worse, Zuko didn’t know what would happen when the people of this timeline found out he didn’t belong.

The door to his cabin opened and Zuko jumped. His heartbeat had returned and was fluttering wildly in his chest. He tried to still himself as his cousin stepped through the raised doorway.

“Are you feeling okay?” Lu Ten asked, hesitating just inside the room.

“What are we doing here?” Zuko blurted. He was too anxious to plan but mindful enough to realize his misstep. Luckily, Lu Ten just shook his head and laughed.

“Is the cold getting to you finally? I want to remind you that you begged Father to let you come on this expedition.” He replied and shut the door. “Don’t worry, we won’t be staying long.”

“I guess I just don’t understand.” Zuko mumbled.

“Are you sure you’re not fevered? The cold causes our inner fire to go a little crazy.” Lu Ten said and walked over. He held out a hand to check and Zuko swatted it away, not wanting this man to touch him. Lu Ten just shrugged and leaned against the wall next to his bed.

“I get it, being out of the palace is a scary thing. But trust me, this will be an easy trip. We already know there’s a Waterbender here, and we have the letter from their King in the North. There won’t be any trouble.” He explained.

A sucking void opened up suddenly under Zuko’s stomach and he found himself speechless.

They had come for Katara.

“Someone on the crew has found a wreck of an old ship. We’re going to check it out and then head to the village.” Lu Ten said before tapping against the wall as he pushed away. “You should get dressed and head up to the deck if you want to disembark.”

Zuko only nodded and watched as Lu Ten walked back to the door, opened it, and stepped out. When the door shut behind him, Zuko shoved a fist to his mouth to keep from vomiting. Focusing on his breathing, he waited till the urge passed and then swung his legs out of bed.

He had to gather more information.

Iroh was Fire Lord, which meant Azulon was dead or incapacitated. Lu Ten had not died during the Siege of Ba Sing Se, but Zuko didn’t know if that had even happened in this timeline. He had not faced his father in an Agni Kai and they were not hunting for the Avatar. But there were still many things, many vitally important things, that he still didn’t know.

Most pressing was why they were looking for a Waterbender.

Zuko dressed more appropriately. Lu Ten had used the term expedition and something about a king, so he assumed it was to be more formal. When he went to tie up his hair, Zuko found his reflection to be jarring, and couldn’t make eye contact. He felt like an unwilling thief, and wanted to be rid of this body.

Looking up at the face, almost coquettishly, Zuko once again touched at the unbroken skin around his eye.

He had no idea what it all meant. And he wasn’t sure if he wanted to find out.


	4. 4

As there was still no real port, the ship crashed into the soft, snowy shoreline nearest the wreck. Zuko was jolted forward and Lu Ten chuckled as he plucked his hapless cousin back onto his feet. They both waited for the soldiers - for now Zuko could see them for military folk - to put down the gangplank and secure it in the slush.

“I think this ship is two generations old, at least.” Lu Ten remarked as they started down the metal ramp. He was speaking of ships, not human lives, but it still made Zuko unsteady on his feet. He had almost forgotten how long the war had been raging, having been at its end.

“How do you think it will all end?” Zuko asked. Lu Ten shrugged easily.

“With our dominion over all the world of course.” He answered and then glanced at Zuko. “But don’t worry, the North Pole won’t be so bad.”

Zuko’s face knotted in fresh confusion but he said nothing. Following Lu Ten silently, they picked their way through the snow toward the rusting carcass of an early Snapper ship. A trio of soldiers went poking through first, severing trip wires and clearing debris, before they all let Lu Ten pass. Zuko found himself stumbling around his cousin, having spent years being the Crown Prince and the one everyone else always let through. Now he was tagging along, walking at Lu Ten’s right and just a little behind.

It was an odd feeling lost in the sea of competing weirdness.

The inside of the ship felt dry but was dusted in ice and snow. Drifts of both had swept in through open portways or through the broken windows of the bridge. It had never been a living thing, but it still felt dead.

Picking up an abandoned helmet, Zuko wiped futility at the years of grime. They looked strange, as the helmets hadn’t looked like this in his lifetime. It almost felt like they were looking at the remains of a different war. One he could perhaps excuse himself of the responsibility.

Dropping the helmet back onto the ground, he wiped his hands on the front of his coat.

“Isn’t that amazing? Look, you can see where the initial repulsion pierced the hull.” Lu Ten said as Zuko approached. Lu Ten stood on a slope of snow that had fallen through a puncture in the side of the ship. Other massive ice spears had trapped the ship, pining it in the air like a butterfly to a board.

Standing on the bridge, Zuko looked up through an escape hatch in the roof. The cold summer light illuminated small snowflakes and he shivered. Katara and Aang had come through here, tripping a wire that shot a flare and caught his attention. From here he had followed them to Kyoshi, meeting them again and again.

Zuko looked down and saw he was gripping the front of his coat, right at his midsection.

“Come on Zuko.” Lu Ten said and slapped his back. “They should have unloaded the supplies by now. Let’s go introduce ourselves to the villagers.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm really thankful that you guys are enjoying this. Some people have mentioned that they would like the chapters to be a little longer and I appreciate the thought, HOWEVER, I've been writing a Zutara series since 2016 and it's my first priority. I have a lot of other responsibilities and so the only way I can continue writing this story regularly is by keeping the scenes short. 
> 
> If this bothers you, then feel free to wait on updates till they're at a more entertaining level. This story will probably never get longer chapters because I simply don't have the time to devote to it!
> 
> Thank you very much to everyone who is reading, and thank you doubly much to the people giving it kudos and comments; they really do mean the world to me. <3


	5. 5

The massive sleds had been made of a lightweight wood since their mounts weren’t used to being hitched to anything. On the sleds were crates of food and bundles of lumber; relief stores for an area that didn’t have timber or farming. It only increased Zuko’s confusion, but he kept quiet. He tried to think back to earlier in the year and what possibly could have changed.

The Ice Raids had begun right after the last Airbender had been killed. It was well understood that the next Avatar would be a Waterbender, so Azulon had sent troops to both Poles. The North had sealed itself away, being only one city, but the South Pole had tribes all over the lower continent. After forty years of raids, and no sight of the next Avatar, the raids were halted. Only a few raiding parties were sent out; usually by men who had a weakness.

Zuko had only gone to the South Pole because he had spent three years combing over each and every Air Temple. He had gone to circle back, to be precise where other men had blundered.

If Lu Ten wasn’t searching for the Avatar, why had he come to the South Pole?

Zuko hoped that by keeping quiet, he would learn something, anything, that would help him understand this timeline.

The sleds pulled up short just outside of the village. Standing at the top of a soft snow wall was one lone figure. Blanching, Zuko remembered how he had arrived. And how Sokka had been standing sentinel.

Lu Ten halted the party and urged his mount forward.

“Hello! I am Lu Ten, Crown Prince of the Fire Nation. I am requesting peaceful entrance to your village.” He called out. The figure that Zuko knew was Sokka shifted uneasily at the top of the wall.

“Why are you here?” Sokka called back. Zuko winced at the sound, hearing the youth in his friend’s voice. Along with the inherent mistrust.

“We’ve been told there is a Waterbender in your village.” Lu Ten answered honestly. “We’re here to check on them, and offer a ride to the North Pole for training. If they’d like.”

Sokka straightened and Zuko felt his stomach clench. Sokka’s worst nightmare had just arrived; another Fire Nation soldier come now to take his sister away. Zuko turned slightly to watch his cousin.

“You can’t take her.” Sokka yelled, his voice thin and high with fear.

“His mother I bet.” Lu Ten muttered under his breath to Zuko.

“Or a sister.” Zuko murmured back and Lu Ten smirked.

“I don’t plan on taking anyone. I only offer the same peaceful passage I am seeking.” Lu Ten said back to Sokka. “And I bring supplies.”

Atop the wall, Sokka turned, as if listening to someone down below. Without a word, he jumped down from the wall and disappeared from view, making Lu Ten sigh in irritation.

“The whole village is probably filled with women and feeble idiots. Poor peasant like that doesn’t stand a chance.” He remarked and Zuko’s stomach twisted. He had forgotten how they all used to talk, even Iroh, before the fateful siege changed everything.

When Zuko didn’t say anything, Lu Ten turned to regard him.

“You’re awfully quiet Zuko. Still feeling ill?” He questioned.

“I’m fine.” Zuko replied sullenly.

“Well is there something in your eye? You keep touching it.”

Zuko’s hand snapped back down onto the reins of his mount and he pulled his lips into a thin line.

“It’s the cold.” He said firmly and Lu Ten just made a quick grunt of acceptance.

Zuko’s hands twisted around the reins. He really had to work harder on not giving himself away.


	6. 6

The village had a wall, but no real gate. A lattice door made of leather was propped in a narrow gap. Zuko realized it was more about keeping the polar bear hounds out than as protection against an invading force. Back then, the first time, Zuko had just seen the snow wall as a pitiable attempt at defense.

His cousin had been right; they never stood a chance.

The gate was pulled back slowly. As it inched to the side, Lu Ten and Zuko rode forward. They waited patiently for the villagers to clear the way. Zuko could hear the straining grunts of children as the gate stuttered open.

He frowned.

Lu Ten glanced at him before shifting over in his seat.

“You shouldn’t glower so. It puts them off.” He whispered.

“Sorry.” Zuko replied and tried to keep his face neutral.

Lu Ten rode in first and, though his back spasmed in protest, Zuko followed after. He knew how it must have looked, riding in on war mounts; he had always been aware of how things looked after the Agni Kai. Bursting the shore and breaching their wall, coming down a gangplank flanked by guards, it had all been in the presentation.

The village now was as it had been then, older women grabbed small children to their legs. They were too frightened to speak, and even the children stayed silent. There was only Sokka, with his warrior’s paint, glaring up at them.

Pausing for a moment, to let them all see him astride a beast that was almost as dangerous as himself, Lu Ten allowed the fear to linger but not turn to rage. He swung down gracefully, took off his helmet, and gave a polite bow to the gathered villagers.

“I come on behalf of my father, the Fire Lord Iroh, to pay restitution for our crimes against your people.” Lu Ten began as Zuko also dismounted. His cousin gave a broad sweep of an arm and the supply sleds were brought around.

“My father offers his most humble apologies for the reprehensible capture of your Benders. We come now with an affidavit from your King in the North.” Lu Ten continued and gestured offhandedly to a guard. The other figure stepped forward and handed him a scroll, sealed with blue wax and spilling red and blue ribbons out one end.

“I offer peaceful transport for the Waterbender who resides here. My ship will take her to the North Pole where she can be trained, properly, and bring back the power to your,” Lu Ten hesitated as his eyes flickered over the small number of faces. “Tribe.” He added firmly and in a manner that made the homes and people feel smaller.

Zuko, who had been staring at Sokka’s twisted face, now scanned the group for Katara. He couldn’t see her, nor had he been able to see any orange. Perhaps Aang wasn’t here, or perhaps he had learned to wear other clothes.

“Wood and wheat won’t bring back my mother.” Sokka spat out and Zuko looked back at him. Lu Ten gave Zuko a knowing look and sardonic smile before turning to address Sokka.

“Your mother will be returned after her training.” He said. Sokka’s face colored, even under the paint.

“You KILLED her! Six years ago!” Sokka bellowed. Lu Ten’s face fell into a scowl. He sighed as he began to squeeze the bridge of his nose.

“There’s not even a Waterbender here.” He muttered to himself. Zuko shifted on his feet uneasily. He glanced about again for Katara, but did not find her.

“My grandfather, the late Fire Lord Azulon, was misguided in his attempt to hunt down the Avatar. It is unfortunate what the raids caused, and my father is seeking to correct that course.” Lu Ten said with barely restrained irritation. He relaxed and started to smile.

“If there is not Waterbender here, we will leave the supplies and return to our ship.” He added and the soldiers began to untie the supplies. Lu Ten took a few steps forward and held out the scroll to Sokka. To his credit, Sokka didn’t even flinch.

“This is the treaty my father signed with King Arnook. Take it. You can use it if you ever travel.” Lu Ten added as Sokka took the scroll. After giving him a curt nod, Lu Ten turned and walked to the sleds. Zuko lingered, as Sokka looked at the scroll in his hand.

“I’m sorry, about your mother.” Zuko said, his voice halting. Sokka looked back at him, his eyes hard.

“My-” Zuko cut himself off and cleared his throat. He didn’t know if his mother was dead in this timeline. “I’m sorry.” He said again and turned away.

At least Aang wasn’t here. At least Katara was safe.


	7. 7

The villagers did not assist with the unloading, and most of them slowly dispersed back into their homes. Sokka stayed for a long time, silently watching the soldiers as they deposited crates and beams of lumber in an orderly pile. As he started to sway on his feet, Sokka grunted in discomfort before sitting down, resting his boomerang on his knees as he watched them. An elderly woman - Zuko assumed was the one they called Gran-Gran - came up and spoke softly to him.

Zuko knew he was staring, but he couldn’t help it. As much as he knew this wasn’t his time, this wasn’t his life, the possibility of getting to start over was almost impossible to resist.

“They’re odd, aren’t they.” Lu Ten said, startling Zuko. He stayed quiet and started fiddling with the latches of his saddle.

“Feeling out of your element?” Lu Ten questioned, leaning against the hind leg of Zuko’s mount.

“It’s kind of hard not to.” Zuko replied. “It’s all so, different.”

“Could you imagine Azula being here?” Lu Ten asked and Zuko’s head shot up.

“That would be terrifying.” He said. Lu Ten laughed.

“She would be able to figure out how to set the ice on fire and then do so.”

Zuko shuddered. “I’m glad she’s not here.”

“We were all a little relieved when she left I think.” Lu Ten agreed and Zuko scowled again. More information that was important, but completely unknown. Father had never allowed them to stray from the royal estates. Azula leaving, either of her own volition or by design, was unimaginable.

“Your Highness.” A guard interrupted them. “The supplies have been unloaded.”

Lu Ten pushed himself off the mount and looked around.

“Alright,” He said. “Let’s get back to the ship.”

As Zuko swung himself up and onto the saddle, the other men froze at the sounds of a struggle. They all turned, and the guards surged forward, but relaxed as they saw a pair of adults grappling with a young woman.

Zuko squeezed the reigns as his heart squeezed to a halt.

“Let, me, GO!” Katara yelled and writhed in their grip. Sokka had run over and was trying to quiet her, but Katara kicked up a clump of snow.

“I’m the Waterbender!” She screamed and Lu Ten took a step forward. The villagers, en masse, closed ranks. From his seat, Zuko could see over the wall of their shoulders and watched as Katara bit into the mittened hand of one of the adults.

“Let her pass.” Lu Ten ordered and the villagers hesitated.

“Katara, no!” Sokka yelped as Katara gave a final grunt of exertion. Then she shoved herself through the bodies and popped out in front of Lu Ten.

“I want to go.” Katara said, keeping her face set and stern. Sokka slid past the villagers easily and grabbed his sister’s arm.

“Katara, they’re Fire Nation!” He said.

“They’ll take me to get trained.” Katara hissed back.

“It’s a lie! You know it’s a lie!”

“Sokka!”

“I-” Zuko started and Katara faced him. His palms began to sweat. “I mean, we won’t hurt you.”

Not again. He added silently to himself.

Katara narrowed her eyes and yanked her arm free of Sokka’s grip, still staring at Zuko.

“You wouldn’t get the chance to.” Katara replied, her tone neat and even. Zuko gulped and gave a curt nod.

“You can’t go alone!” Sokka said. “They’ll just kill you when they get into open water.”

“Open water isn’t exactly the best place to attack a Waterbender.” Lu Ten replied blithely. Sokka only glowered back at him.

Last year, there had been a fight. Zuko, having something to prove, had gone against Sokka one on one. Lu Ten was older and assured. It wouldn’t be much of a fight if it came to it.

“You should come with us.” Zuko blurted, glancing briefly in panic at Lu Ten. “As an escort.”

More than angry, Lu Ten simply looked confused. Sokka looked surprised for a moment. Then resumed his glower.

“A young lady should certainly have a chaperone.” Lu Ten agreed and Katara smirked at her brother. The crowd parted as she walked back to her grandmother and picked up a bag. As she slung it over her shoulder, she grabbed another. This one she shoved at Sokka as she walked back toward the soldiers.

“Let’s go.” She said as he stood blinking down at the pack in his hands. Katara didn’t even look back while she marched up to Zuko.

“Well?” She asked. Recoiling, and suddenly feeling a sweat break out, Zuko hesitated before reaching out to her. Katara grasped his forearm and he half swung her, half yanked her onto the saddle behind him. Lu Ten chuckled as he mounted his own beast and pulled it halt in front of Sokka.

“No thanks.” Sokka muttered and walked over to the empty sled.

“We are grateful for your hospitality. Another ship will return in three months with more supplies.” Lu Ten announced curtly. Without waiting for a question, he turned his beast and rode back out of the gate. The soldiers waited and Zuko abruptly urged his beast forward.

As they jolted forward in their seats, Katara wrapped her arms around Zuko’s middle. Under his coat and sweat, Zuko went cold.


	8. 8

During the ride, as the much lighter sleds hit ruts and divots in the snow, Sokka was tossed about. After one especially loud and creative burst of swearing, Katara turned her face into Zuko’s back to laugh. The action caused him to shiver and sit upright, feeling his heart beating in his throat. He kept wanting to respond, to joke with her about something that had happened - Isn’t this better than the pirates? - but she wasn’t his Katara.

Zuko grimaced. No, this isn’t a Katara I know.

The misplaced familiarity conflicted with his paranoia to keep this guise in place. It was just more difficult simply because he hadn’t the time to adjust before he saw Katara, of all people. The woman who had actually listened to him, had offered to heal him, and who he had done everything to try and protect.

As he felt her warmth at his back, he was terrified that he would say something to give himself away. Even the smallest of things could prove to be his undoing.

Wild-eyed, Zuko glanced over without turning his head to see Lu Ten watching him. Once their eyes met, Lu Ten shrugged in an exaggerated fashion and turned away, pulling his mount to the right. Zuko set his shoulders and tried to calm himself down. As it was, no one had noticed anything too out of the ordinary with him.

The only positive to being socially awkward since childhood.

“Are you okay?” He asked, once he was sure no one was paying attention to him.

“Why?” Katara asked, suspicious. Shards of ice prickled in his neck and chest. He tried to swallow, and failed multiple times before gulping a lump down. He was starting to shake.

“It’s just.” Zuko fumbled over his thoughts and couldn’t find a coherent sentence. “I was hoping our first meeting wouldn’t be. Bad.” He added firmly and gripped the reins tightly.

“I don’t see how it could have gone well.” Katara remarked. “Considering the decades of slaughter your nation inflicted on my people.”

“I didn’t slaughter anyone.” Zuko mumbled, feeling childish and petulant.

Katara scoffed, but it sounded almost like a chuckle.

“That’s why it didn’t go poorly.” She said. They were quiet for a moment and Zuko felt her lean away from him.

“What’s your name?” She asked suddenly. Zuko frowned, confused. Then he remembered his unintentional duplicity and cleared his throat.

“I’m Zuko.”

“You’re a prince right? You don’t look like the other soldiers.” Katara added when he didn’t answer right away.

“I am.”

“So the chatty one is your brother?”

Zuko looked about for Lu Ten and saw him engaged with a soldier. Lu Ten laughed and the soldier urged his mount faster with a sharp call.

“Cousin.” Zuko replied. As a swarm of memories washed over him, he spoke again, quickly. “I have a younger sister.”

“Is that why you invited my brother?” Katara asked. Zuko tried to imagine being protective of Azula. It was not an easy picture to conjure and he frowned again.

“Sure.” He replied, not wanting to engage that any further.

“Are you really going to take me to the North Pole? Or is this another raid?” Katara questioned.   
Zuko smiled, though she couldn’t see it, and laughed lightly.

“Do you think I’d tell you the truth if it was a raid?” He asked in reply.

“I trust you. You have a kind face.” She said.

That was a sucker punch to the gut. Remembering all the times he had been called grumpy or unpleasant, just by the nature of being scarred, made his smile dissolve on his face.

But he wasn’t burned now.

There had been many, many times where Zuko had wondered what his life would have been like had he not faced his father in an Agni Kai. He knew, deep down, that he would have eventually been banished at some point. But perhaps it would have been to a far-off outpost in the Earth Kingdom, where he couldn’t do any harm. He would have been alone, till his father recalled him for some political purpose.

Or else dispatched him quietly in a place where people could easily disappear.

In this timeline, Ozai hadn’t become Fire Lord, so there would be no opportunity for banishment or a quiet, concealed murder. Whatever intrigue had been put into motion had nothing to do with him and he had not been injured. He had new opportunities.

He had a kind face now.

“Trying to think of a lie?” Katara asked, rousing him from his thoughts.

“Sorry.” He said quickly. “No, there’s nothing sinister going on. But that doesn’t mean I actually understand everything that’s happening.”

Katara made a noise of acceptance. She didn’t say anything further, and Zuko started to relax. The scenery around their path was distracting, as the ice glinted in the sunlight. It must have been evening, as Zuko’s body started to feel heavy. But with the sun still high overhead, his head started to swim.

It was also odd to hear the crashing of small waves, and yet see no sand. The beaches were slush and ice, melting a bit as the ocean lapped at the shoreline. They were staying away from the slush of course, as their mounts barely tolerated the packed snow, but the discordant feel of the shore made Zuko uneasy.

He mentioned as much to Katara and she laughed.

“Have you ever seen snow before?” She questioned. Zuko paused, trying to think of a time before his exile.

“The mountains in the middle of my country. Their peaks are white.” He said, not really giving a proper answer.

“Well, just wait till I see a tree.” Katara replied. “That’ll really be something.”


	9. 9

Sokka and Katara both hesitated when they reached the boat. The pair stood together while they watched the soldiers load the cargo, moving up and down the metal ramp with rhythmic clanking.

Zuko, as much as he wanted to stay with them, walked around till he found Lu Ten. His cousin was overseeing the loading, or pretending to. It was another soldier who went down the line, marking things on a board, while Lu Ten watched. He didn’t seem to notice Zuko as he approached and Zuko stood quietly by his side.

“So now we see the real Zuko.” Lu Ten remarked idly and Zuko snapped to attention.

“What do you mean?” He asked. Lu Ten smiled and moved leisurely to look back at him.

“We all have to act a certain way at the palace. Once we get far enough past the wall though,” Lu Ten drifted, and his gaze seemed to be looking past Zuko. He held his silence, and Zuko felt awkward but made no reply. Then Lu Ten shook himself and his smile brightened.

“I’m just glad to see that you’re not such a prissy little brat outside of the palace.” Lu Ten   
finished and clapped Zuko’s shoulder with a friendly weight. Zuko hesitated for a fraction of a second, before blundering ahead in his thought.

“What happened in Ba Sing Se?” He asked. Lu Ten looked surprised, and a little scared. Zuko shrank a bit under the face, working out what the repercussions might be from slipping. Lu Ten settled into a sadder disposition and put his arm around Zuko’s shoulders.

“Your father still going on about that is he?” Lu Ten asked and shook his head. “The siege just wasn’t worth it. Especially after Grandfather passed.” 

“I just.” Zuko didn’t have a point to end with and decided just to keep quiet.

“It’s a shame, what happened. And trust me, I’ll do everything I can to get you back in the   
palace.” Lu Ten added hurriedly and put a hand to Zuko’s chest. “I won’t abandon my favorite cousin in the barbaric North Pole.”

Now Zuko looked confused and a little scared.

“The unpleasantness is over, but there’s still bad blood. You know your father, he’s very   
vengeful.” Lu Ten ushered him away from the loading ramp and back to the gangplank on the side. “And I know you’re sad about Mai, but father does care about you and he doesn’t think it would be a very good match. Especially since Azula was already in Omashu.” 

“But.” Zuko sputtered and Lu Ten laughed.

“Look, this trip will be a lot of fun. Let’s not worry about the rest right now.” He said and then stepped away from Zuko. They had come around the ship and now stood across from Sokka and Katara.

Zuko felt irrevocably sad, seeing his friends watch him with mistrust. He didn’t know how it would be possible to befriend them in this current timeline.

“It’s time to board, your Highness.” A guard said from beside Zuko. He nodded and turned away from the siblings.


	10. 10

Zuko hovered around Lu Ten as they disembarked till his cousin started to snap at him. Not wanting to interact too much with either Katara or Sokka, Zuko retreated to his cabin. The room was small, and Zuko promptly began to pace. It was only four anxious strides from end to end, and he changed his fidgeting with every turn.

He had collected pieces that he thought must be important, but ultimately meant nothing at the moment. Azulon was dead, the siege of Ba Sing Se had failed before Lu Ten had died, his sister and Mai were in Omashu for some reason.

Zuko stopped and put a hand out, as if his thoughts were another person.

Was Omashu a colony already?

With a loud groan, Zuko sat down hard on his bed and held his face in his hands. Something had happened, something that had kept his uncle as the Dragon of the West and caused his father to be pushed to the fringe. What that meant, or what portend that was supposed to be, Zuko simply didn’t know. There was still talk of world domination, Lu Ten had said so explicitly, but why bother making peace with the Water Tribe?

Why was it a Fire Nation cause to have Waterbenders be trained?

Zuko had first thought to follow threads to understand his place in this world. But know he saw that he was entangled, nearly strung up by the numerous strands he couldn’t even see. And he was entirely alone.

The friends he had in this world he could not trust. The ones he could trust were not his friends.

Yet.

Rubbing his face, Zuko tried to calm himself. Letting out a slow breath, Zuko then stood and tried to walk as confidently as he could to the door. It was late in the evening now, and the crew would be eating dinner. With the hopes that he could move unseen, Zuko moved out into the cramped hall and back to the ladder he had taken the night before. This time, he didn’t let the door fall back onto the deck, and clambered out quietly.

For nearly night, it threw him off that it was still fully daylight. The move from darkness below deck to the sun above almost made him sick. Zuko focused on closing the doorway and then walked about the deck, trying to find the other entrance.

Instead, he found Katara.

She sat on the edge of the deck, her legs dangling between the rails and her face pressed into the space of two bars. Zuko snorted in amusement and walked to her. As he neared, she popped her face out and looked at him, staying quiet while he sat next to her.

“Nervous?” He asked. Katara smiled and shook her head.

“I just can’t be below. All of our boats are open and we can see, well, everything.” She said.

“I’m not used to this much water.” Zuko said, thinking back to how he felt when his journey first began. He had seen the ocean many times, from all of their visits to Ember Island. But he had never been on the water till the day he was exiled.

“My whole world has been water.” Katara said, sounding wistful. Zuko watched her for a moment, wondering what she saw as she looked out over the open ocean. There was a coastline still, they wouldn’t break away from it completely until they turned toward the old Air Nation lands. But the whole of the Sharptooth Sea was laid out on the other side, heading toward the gently curving horizon.

“Why are you leaving?” Zuko asked.

He knew why she had originally left, to help the Avatar master all four elements. But Aang wasn’t here, and the Ice Raids had cut off all contact between the two tribes for decades.

“I’m going to find my father.” Katara said.

Zuko startled and his spine straightened.

“Your father is in the North Pole?” He repeated. Katara scoffed and rolled her eyes.

“Obviously he used to live in the South Pole, since my brother and I were born there.” She replied. Zuko tried to hide his confusion, wondering what else Hakoda could have been doing if there wasn’t an active war going on in the world.

Was there an active war?

“What is he doing in the North Pole?” Zuko asked.

“Looking for help. I don’t know how big the villages are in your country, but my tribe has certainly had more people in it.”

“I didn’t realize.” Zuko said, still thinking about the implications of war. Lu Ten had talked about global domination, so obviously there was no peace.

“My father wanted to get assistance, to rebuild or to go back North. My grandmother was born there, so we know that they know about us.” Katara sighed and leaned her head against the bars of the rail. “But we haven’t heard from him in months.”

“Are you scared?”

“For him or of the travel? Doesn’t matter,” Katara said quickly. “both are terrifying.”

She and Zuko laughed. He leaned back on his hands and looked up at the sky.

“It is terrifying to be so far from home.” He remarked.

“What is your home like?” Katara asked. Zuko puffed out his cheeks and let out the burst of air.

“Different.” He said and Katara laughed. When she didn’t say anything else, Zuko sat back up and wrapped his hands around the railing bars.

“The palace is, a lot. I don’t like it very much to be honest. But I always loved the gardens. My mother, she, well, she took me there a lot. To feed the turtleducks.” Zuko said and smiled sadly at the memory. “I miss her.”

“I miss my mother too.” Katara said wistfully. Zuko was quiet but put a hand out on the deck between them.

“Kya was an amazing woman, who did the best she could for her family.” He said. When he saw Katara stiffen, he took back his hand, gripping the rails. After the Southern Raiders, they had never discussed her mother. They hadn’t really discussed much on that level ever again and now Zuko wondered if he had transgressed.

“How,” Katara’s voice was suddenly raspy and distant. “How did you know her name?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, thank you so much for all the love. Sorry about the late update, I'm in an adjustment period for some new medication. I still have a good buffer so "late" should still be within the realm of Thursday is it pertains to Eastern Standard Time. Thank you so much for read, I can't wait to take you through this story.


	11. 11

Katara immediately began to scramble backward on her hands, and Zuko lurched toward her.

“I’m sorry!” He said, not knowing what else to say.

“Have you been spying on me? On my village?” Katara demanded, sounding almost hysterical. Zuko got to his feet before she did, and was able to lunge for her arm.

“No! Wait! Please.” He pleaded just as Katara wrenched her arm away.

“You’re going to take me back to the Fire Nation and kill me.” She stated and Zuko flinched.

“No, Katara, it’s nothing like that.” Zuko said as Katara continued to speak.

“Sokka was right. Oh spirits, we’re going to be executed.” She backed slowly away from him but her eyes darted around.

“I’m from the future.” Zuko blurted. Katara stopped and looked at him. They both froze and Zuko slapped both hands over his mouth. He didn’t breathe, only watched her.

“What.” She said finally, quietly. Zuko swallowed and then lowered his hands.

“Not just that, but this isn’t my timeline. My life already went through this, but it was.” He forcibly put his hands down by his sides. “Different.”

Katara blinked rapidly and then shook her head.

“You’re from the future?”

“Yes.”

“But not this future?”

“No.”

“And my mother-” Katara’s throat closed and Zuko’s shoulders slumped.

“Yes.” He answered softly.

Katara turned back to the rail and grabbed hold of it. As if she were falling and needed to save herself.

“I’d ask you to prove it, but you knew my mother’s name.” She said. Zuko didn’t say anything, but stood next to her and leaned against the railing.

“We ended this whole war already. We had moved on.” He said and looked out across the water. For all of his paranoia, he felt relieved now.

“We won?” Katara asked.

“There was more of us. Toph and Suki and,” Zuko paused and glanced over at Katara. She stared back at him, confused. “People we met.” He looked away. “People we loved.”

“How?”

Zuko looked back at Katara and was stunned by the steeled look in her eyes. He saw her face as it had been when she stopped the rain. It was this mix of determination and revenge, something altogether more human than Aang’s mission to save the world. It was the exact same look, in the exact same face, and Zuko couldn’t help himself from leaning toward her.

“It’s too different. I don’t think,” Zuko shook his head and looked along the deck. A few guards were strolling past, hurrying away when Zuko noted them. He glared and let out a sigh.

“There was a different Fire Lord then. Battles fought here were yet to come for me at this time. I don’t even know if the same ending is planned.” He finished.

“But you came here to save us right?” Katara asked. A prickle fell down Zuko’s spine and he shivered.

“I don’t know why I’m here. Or even how this has come to be.” He rubbed the back of his neck while he thought.

“Tell me one thing. One thing that you would only know if we were friends.” Katara said. Zuko closed his eyes as his memory plucked up an instance, one that filled him with shame and regret.

“Your mother’s necklace, that you always wear.” He said and opened his eyes, looking right at her throat. “You lost her in a Fire Nation raid when they were looking for you. If you lost the necklace, it would hurt you immensely.”

He glanced up at her eyes and looked away when he saw the pain there.

“I stole it from you.” He blurted and felt Katara recoil.

“What?”

“I’m sorry. I don’t want you to think I was some.” He stopped, his mind sputtered, and he twisted his hands through the air as he thought. “I changed.”

Katara sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, rubbing her eyes as she did.

“Okay.” She said, her eyes still closed. Then again as she looked back at him. “Okay.”

Zuko shifted uneasily on his feet as Katara examined him.

“We need to get Sokka on board.” She said. Zuko nodded, a little too enthusiastically.

“I think I have an idea.” He said.


	12. 12

Zuko made a quick trip through the small mess hall. There were a handful of soldiers, either coming off of a shift or about to begin. As they noticed Zuko, they all stood and saluted him, only taking their seats after he waved at them. The group went back to talking, but seemed subdued. None of the people on this crew had been with him last time.

And there was a different feel. There was still the familiar deference, but none of the personal offence. The soldiers treated him as a prince and expected nothing from him. Zuko could come and go as he pleased, and was not begrudged his space or temperament.

Allegedly, his temperament had changed. From his own perspective, he knew he was more at peace than he had been last year, but in this timeline, he was changed from the person he had been from last week.

His cousin had attributed it to nothing more than time and distance away from the palace. Zuko hoped that cover would not wear thin too soon.

As if pushing himself, Zuko went to the small galley and startled their cook.

“Your Highness.” The woman sputtered. “I could have sent along your meal, sir.”

“Oh, uhm.” Zuko blinked in confusion and felt heat brush across his face. “I was already walking around.”

The woman laughed and Zuko felt more at ease.

“I wish we had stayed on land for a bit longer myself.” She replied. “What would you like for supper, sir?”

“Just bread, please.” He said and the woman coughed out a startled laugh.

“Please? Well goodness me, those tribals must have scared some manners into you.” She replied and then turned away. While she moved, she repeated his “please” with a dry a few more times. Zuko wince and resisted the urge to rub his face.

He had to get away from all of these people who knew this Zuko. Subterfuge just wasn’t his strong suit.

When the cook returned, she held out a large biscuit that Zuko took gingerly with both hands. He recognized it as the handheld meat pie many soldiers ate when pulling longer shifts. Thanking the woman, Zuko kept his head down as he walked out of the mess.

The fore of the ship held the mess and the hammocks where the soldiers slept. In the aft was the royal quarters. Sokka and Katara had been put in the fore, but as Zuko dipped into the sleeping area, he didn’t see Sokka.

Carefully putting the pie in his pocket, Zuko climbed back onto the deck. Now he started to stroll, taking small bites of the steaming food that warmed his hands but burned his tongue. Katara, too, had disappeared.

At the center of the ship was the brig and cargo hold, only accessible with a winch. Perhaps they had decided to hide in there with the livestock.

Continuing on, Zuko had to eat carefully or else risk spilling the meat filling down his front. The last thing he needed was to ask his cousin for a favor while looking like a filthy child. This was how he ended up dropping the last large bite into his mouth as if he were a dragonkoi fish. Staring down at the next hatch, he wiped his hands on the back of his pants.

He knew a lot about Sokka. And the thing Sokka cared about the most in the world, was Suki. If Zuko could convince Lu Ten to stop in Kyoshi then he could introduce Sokka to her and win him to his side. Getting Lu Ten to agree might take some doing.

Zuko pulled open the hatch as he chewed and started his descent.

He could do what Uncle had done to him. Claim a desperate need to stop and see something, or replace something. An irritating distraction that could be planned for some other purpose.

Zuko paused partway down the ladder and squinted as he thought.

_That wily bastard did all that on purpose._

Shaking his head, Zuko climbed down and walked quietly down the hall. The back part of the ship was far from quiet however; the massive network of steam pipes rushed and rattled all around him. Looking down at his feet, Zuko wondered if the massive engine was just below him. The thought made him step lightly.

Below deck was dark, and the thin red light of the sconces did little to aid his sight. So the light pouring from an open door was like a beacon and Zuko made a line for it.

Hearing voices, Zuko hesitated as he got closer. He did not want to interrupt something important and risk annoying Lu Ten.

“The wedding will go just fine.” Lu Ten said, sounding as if he were trying to console someone. “And Zuko won’t have any problems as long as his mother is there.”

Zuko’s heart stopped and his fingers immediately went cold.

“Can we even trust the witch?” A man’s voice asked. Now Zuko burned, but Lu Ten spoke up quickly.

“You will not speak of my aunt in such a manner. She has done my father, and the throne, a great service.” Lu Ten paused and shuffled some papers. “And I certainly don’t want her on my bad side.”

“I just don’t think you’re wise to trust her.” A woman’s voice now, sounding just as rough and miserly as the man’s.

“My father trusts her and that’s all that matters.” Lu Ten replied sharply, ending their protests. “When will we reach the island?”

“In a day or so, Highness.” The man said.

“Excellent. I’ll need a landing team and a guard on the two tribals. We don’t need them wandering off.” Lu Ten said.

Feeling his heart hammering in his chest, Zuko squeezed his eyes closed.

_My mother is alive._

He would see her again, and the painful yearning he felt to go to her had to be shoved aside. There would be time for that, and besides, this Zuko had grown up with her. It would not do to seem like he had mourned her.

After taking a few breaths to collect himself, Zuko stood up straight and knocked on the partially open door before moving around it. Four figures were in the room, with Lu Ten at a desk with an older man and woman. A younger person, more of Lu Ten’s age, lounged in a chair with their legs thrown over one of the arms.

“Cousin!” Lu Ten greeted, discreetly straightening a group of papers. “Come to visit?”

Zuko glanced at each of the others, briefly meeting their eyes. Except of the figure in the chair who was cleaning their nails with a thin file.

“Actually, I was wondering if I could ask a favor.” Zuko began.

“Of course. What’s on your mind?” Lu Ten inquired.

“Can we make a stop? On our way to the North Pole?”

“I assume you mean outside of the ones already planned?”

The man chuckled and Zuko cleared his throat, feeling slightly embarrassed.

“That was what I was hoping for yes.” He said.

“Where would you like to go?” Lu Ten asked.

“Kyoshi.”

Lu Ten blinked at him and the man laughed again.

“Kyoshi?” Lu Ten repeated.

“Yes. As a, cultural sort of trip. Historical.” Zuko added, fumbling over his thoughts.

“Zuko, there’s nothing there.” Lu Ten said.

“Well not,” Zuko frowned as he thought. The village hadn’t been much, certainly nothing compared to the temple the Fire Nation had kept in Roku’s honor. But it wasn’t nothing.

“Kyoshi was one of the first towns we razed.” The woman snapped. “Don’t those pampered tutors teach you anything of the war?”

“I forgot.” Zuko said. He felt numb and couldn’t focus on the room. Seeing the look on his face, Lu Ten came around from behind the desk and put a hand on his shoulder.

“It is still an important place. If you want to see ruins, dear Cousin, I will take you there.” He said softly.

“And add two unnecessary days to our journey.” The older man added gruffly. Lu Ten shot him a look over his shoulder and then turned back to Zuko.

“We’ll be stopping in the colonies soon enough. I’m sure we can get some Earth Kingdom flavor there.” Lu Ten said.

“Sure. Of course.” Zuko shook himself and then smiled at Lu Ten. “Thank you.”

“Any time. Now why don’t you find something to eat? I need to go over some trip details with this lot.” Lu Ten said. Zuko nodded and let himself be led out of the room by Lu Ten’s hand. As he stepped into the hall, Lu Ten shut the door, slowly choking off the light.

“Now,” Lu Ten said, speaking to his companions again. “What was the news from Zhao?”

The door shut, and Zuko stood in red stained darkness.


	13. 13

The next day, Zuko tried to avoid as many people as possible. Dodging Katara and Sokka was almost too easy, as an impromptu guard had been set on the pair in anticipation of the next landing. Katara, every time they made eye contact, shot him a questioning look, but Zuko just turned his head as he continued past her.

Lu Ten was also easy to avoid, as there was certainly another mission to this transport quest they had been set on. His cousin was often in animated conversation with the mysterious third figure from the night before, who would smile at Zuko as they crossed paths.

Zuko tried to get his facts straight.

His mother was alive, but had done something that made her untrustworthy to parts of the guard. In his time, his father had made allusions to some traitorous plot Ursa had enacted, one large enough to warrant the awful end that she met. But nothing had ever been spoken plainly, and Zuko wasn’t even certain if it was the same event being played out.

As for the wedding, Zuko was far from concerned. He remembered the nights when Sokka and Aang would talk about the North Pole, as they shifted the emotional strain from the horrific events to how Zuko had gotten beaten by Katara in a fight. Princess Yue had been betrothed, and a political wedding was certainly a place for diplomatic pandering. Still, he wondered why Lu Ten had talked about his safety, and why it was important that his mother would be there.

Whenever his thoughts drifted to his mother, about seeing her again, he felt an ache in his chest. He had missed her and had been desperate to know what had happened to her. In a matter of weeks, he would see her again.

But she would not be his mother.

This was not his world.

Setting his shoulders, Zuko resigned himself to one plan. He needed more information, that much was clear. All of the machinations already in motion would be meaningless to him if he didn’t know who he was supposed to be or what had been happening.

After training with Piandao as a child, and from his own love of the theater, Zuko had mastered the art of stealth fairly early on. It was a benefit when he was trying to sneak around his father’s notice, or away from his sister and her friends. Spying wasn’t in his nature, but reconnaissance was important. Idle conversation could more often than not lead to promising finds.   
Returning to his room, Zuko thought of a plan as he dressed in something more subdued and easier to move in than his royal garb. It was difficult, as most of it was either for hard travel or official meetings. Reaching toward the bottom of his trunk, he finally managed to pull out a training uniform; sleeveless but the pants were black and more fitted.

The fearful excitement gave him a jolt of adrenaline and as Zuko moved out into the hall, he jumped against the far wall to twist and grab an overhead pipe.

As his back refused to twist enough, his fingers missed the pipe by a foot and he slammed onto the hard metal floor.

The rush of blood in his ears was so loud, he could hear nothing else. The fall had hurt, and he had surely bruised his side, but that wasn’t what knocked the breath out of him.

This was not his body.


	14. 14

Zuko hid in his room for the rest of the day. He skipped the midday meal and tea, and was far too anxious sounding when Lu Ten came to his door to check on him. But he couldn’t face anyone.

Everything had been just too similar and just different enough for him to slide into some mental pocket. He wasn’t normally prone to looking at his reflection, and so even the obvious difference of his face wasn’t present enough to have forced him to realize what had happened.

He wasn’t on some odd trip with Fire Nation friends he couldn’t remember. He was in a different world, one to which he did not belong. Because this was not his body.

Growing up in the palace had been so lonely. As a small child, when his Lu Ten really was alive, Iroh would always bring a light into their family. When they would go to Ember Island, Ozai would accompany them, interact with them, and everything just seemed better. Zuko could remember the rare moments - ones he hungered for constantly as a child but now reflected back on as odd and contradicting - when Ozai would touch Ursa gently, with something close to affection. And Ursa, if not necessarily enjoying it, did not seem repulsed.

After Lu Ten and Azulon died, everything changed. Iroh was more private, less doting, though he still had regular tea with Ursa.

Zuko’s life became quieter, darker, and more lonely. He had studied lamely in his Firebending, avoided his sister and father, and trained with Piandao. It wasn’t until he attempted to mix his sword fighting with theatre that Zuko felt like a whole person.

The stage workers - the people in black suits that moved props during a performance - had to move quickly, silently, and with precise dexterity. It was the perfect blend of avoidance and strength- exactly what he needed in the palace.

When forced to play with Azula and her friends, he instigated competitions with Ty Lee. Azula would sabotage him and laugh, but he learned. Being around Mai was both a perk, and another excuse to watch Ty Lee.

Then Zuko practiced. He would rush from Firebending training and pick up his training sword, finding an empty garden to practice in. He wanted to be able to flip with no hands, so he could maintain his grip on the sword. He wanted to be able to propel himself over obstacles so he could keep his hands as free as possible. He wanted to be able to climb, run, and stand silently, so no one could catch him.

When his mother disappeared, it became almost easier to practice because less of the ones who wanted to hurt him were looking for him. Unfortunately, that meant most of his avoidance practice was on Iroh’s attempts to reach out.

His ability to be the Blue Spirit became the only good part of his life. It was his mother, his father, and the only equalizer he had with Azula. But he kept it safe and private.

And now it was gone. Everything he had worked for and earned was gone.

His Uncle would not be the same. His mother would not be the same. Once again, he was surrounded by people he could not trust but now he was ignorant, weak, and confused. He didn’t even have his own body.

What was worse, what made this whole situation that more dangerous, was the fact that now, unlike in his childhood, Zuko was desperate for the love and acceptance he had gotten from his friends and family. The love he deserved.

The love that did not exist here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all I don't know how many of you also read Balanced, but that didn't update this week. It probably won't update any time soon.
> 
> My mental health has Not Been Great.
> 
> This story probably won't be affected. Due to the short chapters, they're much easier to write and I can update on schedule. So if you DON'T read Balance you're fine!
> 
> Also I might try to write more one-shots. Maybe.


	15. 15

That night, he couldn’t sleep.

Sleepless nights were not new to him. The habit had started after his mother had left. She had woken him and said goodbye, but the memory was foggy and distant from his need to sleep. When he finally got up in the morning, it had felt like a dream. It still did.

He didn’t want to miss anything like that again.

From what he remembered of the ship’s schedule, he guessed it was about the hour of night when the third shift was firmly in their place. Zuko had been given a skeleton crew in the first place, and many of those men had reasons for being assigned to the exiled prince’s ship. He could walk about the deck hours before dawn and not see a single soul.

From his first day on this ship, on Lu Ten’s ship, he knew that was not the case here. Still, he had spent hours in his room and needed to eat, or at least breathe fresh air. He still remembered the important lessons of his youth; the best places to hide, what to listen for when approaching a blind spot, numerous little lessons that he carried in his mind if not his body.

There were more soldiers about, and being more active. Zuko tried to move unseen, but in places where it would have been impossible, he walked with purpose. The guards he ran into were certainly surprised to see him but only greeted him as Zuko walked past.

As they moved north, the sun started to behave normally. The sun had set but was rethinking that choice and the horizon was still illuminated. Zuko turned away from it and headed toward the middle of the ship.

Bolted down next to the cargo hold was a metal base. It could fit either a catapult or a crane, but currently still had the crane attached. Traveling in open water with it wasn’t a good idea when a surprise storm could snap the metal beams in half. This meant they were making a short trip and stopping somewhere that required further use of the crane.

Zuko wanted to get up and away, and knew about the various small platforms that hid in corners of the frame. Checking around him, Zuko grabbed onto the bars and lifted himself up slowly. This body was not as practiced, but still strong. The other Zuko had obviously still trained in some manner, though he wasn’t as strong in his legs.

“This isn’t my home, these aren’t my friends,” Zuko muttered to himself. “If I’m not careful, I’m going to get myself killed.”

“Then don’t climb things in the dark, idiot.”

Zuko’s hands almost released him, but he scrambled forward and wrapped himself around the bars. The eerie twilight gave him just enough light to see Katara’s face peeking at him from the shadows.

“You probably shouldn’t surprise people climbing things in the dark.” Zuko snapped and Katara laughed. She held out a hand and Zuko took it, letting her help him into the frame and onto the platform.

“You’ve been avoiding me.” She said as soon as he sat down.

“Sorry.”

“Did you find out about the thing for Sokka?”

Zuko jerked his head up and then winced.

“I did. It won’t work. Not here.” Zuko paused and looked out over the deck. “I don’t think it would have been the same anyway.”

He could feel Katara staring at him, and he made sure not to turn his face. After a moment of silence, Katara came over and sat next to him. They both had their legs over the edge of the platform and Katara began to swing her feet back and forth.

“What am I like? In your time?” She asked.

Zuko tilted his head back, his eyes wide, and blew out a heavy breath.

“Well, you hated me for a long time. Then we,” Zuko stopped himself and looked at her. She looked exactly like Katara. But her kindness felt different, her speech more blindly optimistic. His Katara, the one he knew, was fierce and confident, who’s kindness came from her refusal to let evil exist in places she could impact.

Maybe that was how she had begun even in his time. It would explain why she had been so willing to help him in the crystal caverns.

“Do you miss them?” Katara asked.

Zuko lowered his head and nodded.

“You and Sokka, and everyone else; you all were the only friends I have ever had. We all helped each other, we all saved the world, but you.” He stopped and gripped the front of his shirt. “You saved my life.”

“Then why did you leave?”

Stunned, Zuko backed away from her. “What?”

“Why did you come here if you were happy?”

“I didn’t, Katara, I didn’t choose this.”

Katara’s face knotted in confusion.

“Then why are you here?”

“I don’t know!”

“How did you get here?”

“I don’t know!”

Katara, visibly starting to panic, put her hands into her hair.

“Well, what are you doing then?”

“I have no idea!”

“Hey! Get away from my sister!”


	16. 16

Katara covered her face and let out a long groan as Sokka scrambled up the crane. Zuko started to push himself backward, but Sokka clambered over him to sit between the pair. Katara shrugged while Sokka glowered.

“Didn’t have enough to invade that you had to come to a whole new world?” Sokka demanded.

At first surprised, Zuko started to laugh.

“The first time we met, in my world, you threw a boomerang at me,” Zuko said. Sokka blinked, his face blank. Zuko continued. “And yeah, I had been invading at the time so I think I deserved it.”

Sokka’s face soured and he turned to Katara. “And he said we were friends?”

“Hush.” Katara said sharply and Sokka rolled his eyes.

“As I just told your sister, I don’t know why I’m here. Or even how I got here.” Zuko, growing more uncomfortable as these replica eyes stared at him, turned to look down at the ship deck below. “I can’t even tell if it’s worse or better than what I went through.”

Soldiers walked their circuits around the deck and Zuko followed the points of their helmets. He hadn’t noticed before the multitude of tiny differences between his world and this one.

Idly, he touched his abdomen again.

“What do you know about this world?” Katara asked, rousing him from his wandering thoughts. Zuko patted his missing scar and faced the other two again.

“Not much. My dead cousin is alive, my missing mother is not missing, and my uncle is the Fire Lord instead of my father. I have no idea if their plan to use Sozin’s Comet to obliterate the Earth Kingdom is still relevant, and I don’t even know if-”

Zuko stopped as he looked past Katara’s head. In the near dark, he could still make out the distant island. He knew where they were headed.

The crumbling structure of the temple rose out of a thick bank of sea fog. It skewered him, and Zuko felt himself reel as he looked at it.

Had he left Aang in the South Pole?

If he had the forethought, perhaps he could have run from the ship when he landed. He could have tried to convince Sokka and Katara, or else picked through the ocean on his own. Another thought came unbidden from somewhere in the depths of his mind.

Aang might not even be out there.

One good reason to call off the siege of Ba Sing Se, and to end the Ice Raids, would be if they had found the Avatar, perfectly preserved in an iceberg.

Zuko felt sick, and suddenly hands were on his shirt, yanking him back.

“What are you doing?” Sokka hissed. “You could die if you fell from this height!”

Shaking his head, Zuko grabbed onto Sokka’s wrists, tightening his grip as the other boy struggled.

“Sokka. We have to find the Avatar.” Zuko stated with desperate command. “Have you seen any weird icebergs?”

Sokka went from looking frightened to looking angry.

“The Avatar? Icebergs? What are you talking about?” Sokka shoved Zuko off of him and turned to Katara. “I think Spice Prince has a touch of midnight sun madness.”

Katara gave him a disagreeable face and then shoved him further back on the platform. Leaning forward, she met Zuko’s gaze.

“Our Gran-Gran is from the North Pole and she had grown up hearing about how the Avatar had trained there. He left fifteen years before she was born, but she heard more stories when she was traveling through the Earth Kingdom to the South Pole.” Katara explained.

“Aang had been training?” Zuko repeated, his face twisted as he tried to understand. “Then where is he?”

“No one knows,” Sokka interjected as he sat back up, pushing Katara back to her corner. “By the time Gran-Gran heard the stories, they were decades old. The Avatar just, disappeared.”

Zuko shook his head and slumped over, bracing himself by holding onto the metal frame. Aang had lived, which meant he could also be dead.

“If he’s dead, then the next Avatar would be a Waterbender.” Zuko said, his voice flat and lifeless.

“Well, it’s not me!” Katara replied quickly. Zuko shook his head, but didn’t look at her.

“Depending on whether Aang’s disappearance was fatal or not, the Avatar would be an adult no older than your grandmother.” He said.

“So what?” Sokka asked. “No one seems interested in the Avatar anymore. The Ice Raids are over and your cousin made it seem like they were a bad idea in the first place.”

“Then why are we using a warship to take a Waterbender to the North Pole?” Zuko asked.

Sokka’s mouth opened, but he said nothing. Katara reached out and grabbed onto the back of her brother’s shirt.

“You’re bait.” Zuko added and looked over at them. “Something bad is going to happen in the North Pole.”


	17. 17

The next day, Zuko was already at the railing when he saw the temple rise out of the sea fog. The sun worked normally here and was heading toward its zenith, so the light was clear and made the sky a softer blue. The fog was all that was left of the smaller icebergs that had been pushed this far north, and it still smelled clean and cold.

As they had always looked, the crumbling spires of the Southern Air Temple resembled bones, but of a body that had been neglected and improperly buried. The towers were arthritic, the cliffs were eroding, and the overgrown grass clung to it all like petrified burial cloth.

It had never felt sad to Zuko, because it had aged into something else. It wasn’t rotten, but dry. Time had stripped away the deaths and atrocities, and left only the frame of things. He could drape any sort of story over it, or examine it for what it was.

Maybe this is why the Fire Nation cremated their dead, to leave nothing up to the world’s interpretation.

“You’re looking melancholy my prince.” The unknown figure approached and Zuko leaned away from them. By keeping his mouth shut and moving around the ship in ways he assumed Azula would, Zuko had picked up useful information. This person was Zuriko, an infamous daughter of a prominent noble family. Their infamy had begun as a child when they were sent to the Girl’s Academy, despite that they had insisted they had no gender.

The scandal had ripped through the court and there was talk of Zuriko being disowned and exiled, which would have resulted in their death through any number of means, when Iroh had made a stop at the family’s home.

Whatever was said, or implied, or threatened, ultimately Zuriko had been moved to one of the other buildings the palace held and started going by Zuri.

Which meant they had been around as Zuko as he had grown up. They made Zuko wary, even though they had never given any indication so far that they were suspicious.

“I don’t know why I’m here.” Zuko said. It was easier to be honest, but to word things in a way with multiple meanings. Depending on how most people reacted, he could learn more than from their actual response.

“You were begging to leave the palace, if you remember.” Zuri said and jostled him with their shoulder. “But you will be helpful in the North Pole. People like you.”

“No they don’t.” Zuko replied automatically and jumped as Zuri laughed.

“When you relax they do.” They said and then paused. The two of them peered at the Air Temple in silence. Zuko wondered if it would look the same from when he had stopped here in his time.

“Zuko, what happened with your father, it wasn’t your fault. I know he is trying to make you feel like it is, but that’s only because what’s happening is too big for you to understand.” Zuri said with what seemed like genuine softness.

“So what part do I play in all of this?” Zuko asked, trying to resist the urge to follow the new path Zuri had opened.

Zuri shrugged and leaned more heavily against the railing.

“We have what Lu Ten assigns us. What he tells us about that part may be incomplete, or totally wrong, but we all have choices to make, right?” They said.

“How long will I have to stay in the North Pole?” Zuko asked. Zuri smiled.

“Not long, if everything goes the way we need it to. And then lots of things will begin to happen very quickly. And don’t worry,” They turned met Zuko’s gaze. “Nothing will happen to the Waterbender.”

Zuko felt his face flush and he stepped away from them.

“What do you mean?” He asked sharply.

“You’ve been trailing after the two Tribals since they boarded. Neither of them will be harmed, if it’s the brother you’re more concerned about.”

“I.” Zuko’s throat tightened as his face warmed even more.

“Just remember where your loyalties lie!” Zuri said lightly, teasing him. They patted him hard on the shoulder and walked off, leaving Zuko reeling.

He had found out from other talk, a lot of it coming from Lu Ten’s lieutenants Gorou and Sang, that things were far worse than he had expected.

His father was in unofficial exile in the Earth Kingdom. Ozai had accused Ursa of poisoning Azulon, causing his death after the former Fire Lord had seemed to be recovering from pneumonia. Whatever support he had been expecting had not materialized and he had been sent away to the interior to oversee a work camp.

Ursa was alive, and had taken on many duties of the Fire Lady since Iroh had ascended the throne as a widower.

Azula lived in Omashu as a guest of Mai’s family, the governors of the city kingdom.

Ba Sing Se, having survived the same siege Zuko had known, had sealed itself up. Nothing moved in or out, and the refugees fleeing from the Fire Nation’s expansion scrambled over the massive kingdom.

The Fire Nation was firmly entrenched in a long, continuous war. Small battles were fought en route to the larger city kingdoms, till those were finally sacked. It was taking years, but the Fire Nation didn’t care; more land taken in the Earth Kingdom gave them more food and resources. The war was not a strain as long as they were winning.

Zuko had tried to figure out what event had altered this timeline so much.

Lu Ten had not died at Ba Sing Se, because Zuri had defended him from a Spirit attack. But Zuko had never heard of a Zuriko in his timeline, and wondered if they had even been born.

Aang had not run from the Air Temple, and had gone on to take up his Avatar training, yet still disappeared.

His mother had clearly murdered Azulon either at Iroh’s request or with his promise of protection.

It made him sick, and forced him to think about what would happen if the people around him realized he had been changed. That there was now a potential for disloyalty.

It made him think, for the hundredth time, if he should find a way to run with Katara and Sokka once they landed at the Air Temple. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't get too excited, I'm not really back. There's a lot going on but I'm trying. See you soon. <3


	18. 18

Once they made landfall, the entire ship disgorged itself from the metal belly. A camp was set up while Lu Ten tried to coerce Zuri into wandering the ruins. They smiled and glanced back, meeting Zuko’s eye.

“You, my prince, have work to do. But perhaps the younger legs could use some stretching.” They said.

Lu Ten paused and turned, blinking as he registered seeing Zuko there.

The last time Zuko had seen his Lu Ten, he had been a child. At certain moments, where this Lu Ten looked so cleanly back at him, Zuko felt like he was a child again. He felt small under his cousin’s gaze, and insubstantial.

What would happen to him if Lu Ten found out?

“Did you want to go Zuko? Seeing as how you’ve finally stopped puking at every port, you might be up to it.” Lu Ten asked. Zuko felt his face warm and he clenched his hands into fists.

He had gotten sea sick in the beginning in his timeline as well.

“I can handle it.” Zuko stated.

Lu Ten nodded and turned back to Zuri. “You’ll go with him? He is second in line after all and you have a knack for saving princes.”

Zuri made a noise and slapped Lu Ten’s arm.

“I will. And I’ll take the little tribals along.” They added. Lu Ten’s face changed and Zuko stilled.

The Fire Nation had lived through generations of war. Zuko had grown up on stories on his family’s prowess in battle and imagined a burning brightness tearing through enemy lines. Something different to the cold burn that made sharp slivers of Azulon and Ozai.

Lu Ten looked like a sword blade pulled straight out of the coals.

“It’s not appropriate for a Fire Nation prince to associate with peasants.” Lu Ten stated.

“It’s also not appropriate for a Fire Nation prince to go ignorantly into a foriegn kingdom.” Zuri countered. “The tribals can teach him a few things. And they’re kids, let them have some fun.”

“When I was his age, I was a soldier.” Lu Ten muttered, sounding more like a petulant child. Zuri shoved him.

“You were an officer because your daddy was the crown prince.” They corrected.

Lu Ten made a show of sighing and throwing his hands into the air.

“Fine. But make sure none of them fall off the island.” He said and walked away.

Zuko and Zuri watched as Lu Ten stolled over to a group of officers. It was bizarre to see how Lu Ten flickered between calculated seriousness and congenial nonchalance. From experience, Zuko knew that most people would assume the Crown Prince was unrestrained. To him it was more like keeping a firm hand on the fuel gauge.

Zuri patted Zuko’s shoulder.

“Let’s go collect the tribals.” They said.

Katara and Sokka had been penned off by armed guards while other soldiers put up a tent. All parties looked displeased.

“Your highness.” One guard said and the entire group straightened to salute. Zuko awkwardly held up a hand.

“The prince is going to walk the ruins and has invited our guests.” Zuri said.

The soldiers tensed but Katara grinned. Knowing them, or at least versions of them, they had probably tried to wander off as soon as they landed.

“The Crown Prince promised his guests an enjoyable trip.” Zuri added, firmly reminding all of them og the boundaries in place. “And he wishes that Prince Zuko become more familiar with the Water Tribe’s culture.”

Zuko had forgotten how his royal voice had been protected when he was younger. None of the family was permitted to speak freely with others and every time his father spoke, his words were treated like a commandment from the heavens. Iroh had not been that way, and this Lu Ten had clearly cultivated the same familiar manner, but both had spent most of their time in the army.

For himself, Zuko had fallen out of practice during his exile and his throat tightened around his own words.

“Why thank you.” Sokka said, stressing his words and looking indignantly at the guards. “I tried to stretch my legs earlier but apparently these matchsticks thought I was stretching them too far.”

Katara nodded solemnly and Zuko fought down a smile.

“The ruins are a dangerous place. But I will be caring for your safety.” Zuri replied.

Their words were calm and almost friendly, but Zuko did not feel comforted.


	19. 19

The ruins looked exactly the same. Zuko stared up at the tall wooden posts, wondering again what they were for. Sokka and Katara, choosing to ignore their situation, chattered about them. Zuko was positive both of them knew what it was for, back in his timeline.

For how different everything was, ultimately it was the similarity that hurt him the most. He wanted everyone to be different, so he could begin to distance himself. Lu Ten was alive, and it was beginning to sound like his uncle was not a good man. It would make it easier, then, for him to do what he needed to leave.

But Sokka and Katara were too similar to his friends. Katara’s laugh made his blood freeze, as he kept waiting for her to bring him into the joke. When they were close by, Zuko had to stop himself from touching Sokka’s shoulder. 

As the two walked away from the giant posts, Katara glanced over at him and smiled. Zuko swallowed, hard, and followed them.

“How far do you think she’ll let us wander?” Sokka asked.

“They. And I don’t know.” Zuko glanced over his shoulder to see Zuri walking a few feet behind them. They didn’t make an attempt to seem anything less than watchful, so they smiled before Zuko turned back. 

“Why are they keeping us so guarded?” Katara asked.

“I don’t know that either.” Zuko replied.

“Well what do you know?” Sokka questioned.

“Nothing we can discuss now.” Zuko answered. 

They walked around the grounds while Katara marveled aloud over the grass and briar shrubs. Startling a flock of llama goats, the three of them ran off in the opposite direction. Zuri managed to follow them, but now seemed more concerned with the wildlife. 

Sokka was the one who pulled them into the temple itself. They moved down corridors leisurely, listening to how Zuri’s footsteps became softer. There were fewer places to go, and fewer in which to hide. Doors had been broken away and were half rotten. Debris and dust gathered in corners, and everything was dry.

“Look, I think this was a library.” Katara called and stepped through a shattered door. Sokka followed after but Zuko paused to look down the hall. Zuri wasn’t there, but he doubted they were far behind. 

Stepping into the room, he saw the familiar destruction.

Fire Nation soldiers, after slaughtering the monks, and turned over every inch of every temple trying to find a sign of the Avatar. Books were tossed on the floor by a maelstrom of hands, and had been bleached by sunlight and a century worth of careful page turns with airy fingers. 

Some were stacked on the table in front of Katara and Zuko watched her flip through the pages. Dust and insects, disturbed from their peace, flew into the air. 

“Do you think they moved all these books between the temples?” Katara asked, still looking at the weathered pages. 

“I doubt it. More likely they had four copies.” Sokka replied, nudging a pile of books on the floor with his foot. Katara snapped the book shut.

“That’s a lot of books.” She stated.

“That’s a lot of wasted fire fuel.” Sokka countered and walked over to an empty bookcase. 

Katara wrinkled her nose and put the book down.

“Do you like to read?” Zuko asked, stepping up to her side. Katara shrugged and picked up the next book in her stack.

“I think I would, if we had more books. The only time we ever got to even see one was when a trader came through. And even then, we had to have something to trade to read it.” She replied. 

“Remember that guy who brought the book Gran-gran thought was an atlas and turned out to be filled with dirty pictures?” Sokka snorted and walked to them. 

“She almost killed him when she found us reading it.” Katara replied.

“I traded a perfectly good spearhead for smut.” Sokka sighed, then grinned. “The men didn’t seem to mind taking it from us though.”

“And you got your spearhead back.” Katara added. She flipped through the pages of the new book, but this time one came loose. Zuko bent down and picked it up.

The writing on it was clear and familiar.

“What is it?” Sokka asked.

“I think…” Zuko started, but couldn’t finish. Katara set down the book while Sokka snatched the page from Zuko’s paralyzed fingers.

“It’s a poem. ‘I came to reminisce and only found bones. I know now that I am truly alone. My sadness is a still wind in my heart. I must find a good land to rest.’” Sokka read aloud. He looked up, critical. “What is that about?”

“That’s Aang’s handwriting.” Zuko croaked. Katara and Sokka still looked confused.

“Aang is the Avatar.” He explained. Sokka and Katara paled, and Sokka folded up the page.

“So he came back here.” Katara said.

“And if he did, he still might have ended up in the same place as last time.” Zuko replied. The idea of Aang being an iceberg, and with no way to rescue him, made Zuko’s stomach twist.

“Not necessarily.” Sokka said. He opened his hand and Katara gave him the book.

“He made it all the way here, got to this book, and wrote the note. Look,” Sokka flipped the book over to its cover. “This is about the Earth Kingdom.”

“So he was trying to find an Earthbender, to teach him.” Katara said.

“He might be there, in Ba Sing Se.” Sokka offered. Zuko frowned and took the book, staring at the cover.

“Who might be in Ba Sing Se?” 

The three of them jumped and watched as Zuri ducked to get through the doorway. 

“Now who might three children be looking for in the Earth Kingdom?” They went on, looking directly at each of them in turn.

Zuko swallowed, hard, and stepped forward. He would not be intimidated into betraying his friends. Not again.

“They’re looking for their father. They haven’t seen him in months.” Zuko stated. 

Zuri raised an eyebrow.

“A Water Tribal in the Earth Kingdom? Why wouldn’t he be in the North Pole?” They asked. They were testing him and Zuko felt his blood rush in his ears.

He tried to think of anything that might help, from his past or what he learned of this world.

Then something clicked.

“Because of the pirates.” He replied. Now Zuri looked stunned and Zuko relaxed a little.

“If pirates had taken them on their way north, they might be in the Earth Kingdom.” He explained. Zuri regarded him, silently, and Zuko felt sweat begin to form under his arms. 

“I am glad to see you being so altruistic my prince. And I know your cousin will be equally gladdened to hear of this, sudden change.” Zuri said. Then they held out their hand. “I will keep this inspirational book for you.”

Sokka looked over at Zuko, then gave the book over. 

Zuri smiled. “Thank you. Now we should head back to camp. Lunch is almost ready.”

Zuri turned and walked out through the door. Zuko’s head swam in the dry air but he steadied when Sokka patted his shoulder.

“That was exceptionally creepy.” He said. Zuko heaved out a heavy breath.

“At least that hasn’t changed.” He replied and shrugged off Sokka’s hand. “Everyone in the Fire Nation is out to get me.”


	20. 20

While the sun was still out, engineers scrambled over the ship to fix any minor problems. They would be heading to the outpost on White Tail Island for major repairs before entering open ocean on their way north. The events at the ruins and now knowing about their next stop, Zuko felt like he was about to snap. 

Lu Ten surprised him in the late evening, throwing a sheathed sword onto his lap. 

“Let’s go. You’re getting stiff.” He said.

For the afternoon, Zuko practiced. Remembering his earlier acrobatic failure, he started off guarded. His muscles were not as slow to respond, however, and he pushed more on Lu Ten. With only one sword, he couldn’t practice most of his sets, but this was enough. It was enough to know that he was still capable, and to know that his firebending was still lackluster enough to require it. 

When they stopped to eat, Lu Ten tossed his arm over Zuko’s shoulders and boasted loudly about his improvement. Despite himself, Zuko smiled and pushed gently away from Lu Ten. When they were children, Lu Ten had not been overly interested in Zuko. They played well, but the age difference kept them from being at the same physical stage; Zuko couldn’t run as fast or jump as far, and Lu Ten  would get bored of the restraint. 

Now they were leveling out. Zuko  was surprised to see that he was already as tall as his cousin. Lu Ten represented adulthood and the grand ideal of what Zuko  was supposed to become. To find the differences lessening was odd. 

“I’m glad grandfather convinced Piandao to return to the palace,” Lu Ten said while they sat at a table. “He became a good friend to father and you seem to be doing much better.” 

Zuko hoped this meant the White Lotus was still intact, and perhaps his uncle wasn’t still a true son of the Fire Nation. 

“I wish my firebending  had gotten better as well.” Zuko said with a sigh. Lu Ten jostled him.

“Firebending  can be overrated . If there’s not a good mind behind it, it can be practically useless. Look at your sister.” He replied.

Zuko grumbled but made no reply. The guards  had escorted Sokka and Katara to the table, seating them opposite of Lu Ten and Zuko.

“Are you both Firebenders?” Katara asked. Her question came with some excitement, while Sokka looked angry.

“Most of the people on the crew are.” Lu Ten answered politely. 

“But not the trolls.” Zuri added as they came over. They sat on the other side of Lu Ten, but leaned over to wave at Zuko. Unnerved, he slowly waved back. 

“Who are the trolls?” Katara asked. She leaned away from the table while Sokka leaned forward. 

“They mean my two lieutenants.” Lu Ten replied.

“We’re on a warship?” Sokka interjected.

“All Fire Nation ships are warships.” Zuri answered. “But not all of us are soldiers. Like me and his royal highness down there.” 

Sokka and Katara both glanced at Zuko, how reddened and sank into his seat. 

“Zuko isn’t old enough. And you are a liability.” Lu Ten retorted. Zuri laughed and tapped on the table. 

“I wasn’t a liability when I saved your hide from a spirit attack.” They quipped.

“A spirit?” Katara jumped on the word. “You saw a spirit?” 

“Absolutely. It had been stalking the troops at Ba Sing Se, taking faces. When it came for the prince, I was able to chase it off.” Zuri said. They snapped, shooting up a tongue of flame.

“That’s incredible.” Katara said softly.

“You do remember these are the guys who killed mom right?” Sokka snapped. Katara winced and looked down at her lap.

“I don’t recall killing any tribals.” Zuri said leisurely. Sokka glared at her and Lu Ten held up his hands.

“Enough. We can all recognize and accept that the war has had a very real cost. While you may see us as the aggressors, I can guarantee you that we had no part in the Ice Raids. And my father did end them as soon as he became Fire Lord.” Lu Ten said.

“But none of this would even be an issue if your people  hadn’t decided to take over the world.” Sokka shot back. 

“I won’t debate philosophy with a child. But just know that the war is ending soon enough, and I  will not be held accountable for the missteps of my forebears.” Lu Ten’s tone took on a dark tone. “Perhaps you’d be more comfortable eating in your tent this evening.” 

“I’ve lost my appetite.” Sokka muttered and stood from the table. Katara followed quickly after, and Zuko watched painfully as Sokka swore at the guards who quickly flanked them.

“I will say,” Zuri began. “The tribals are so cute when they’re angry.” 

“You’re awful.” Lu Ten said, but looked calm as he waved over some of the crew. Food  was served and Zuko looked down at the meal, feeling his own appetite vanish. 

“They’re a bad influence on Zuko.” Zuri said and Zuko jumped. He could feel the familiar prickle on the back of his neck, knowing that a judgement was soon coming. Depending on how that judgement went, a punishment might follow.

He often had to navigate Ozai’s judgments. He had more than not failed to do so adequately. 

“He ’s just excited to interact with people his own age, I’m sure.” Lu Ten dismissed their comment. Zuko focused more on his food, poking it around his plate.

“They’re good people.” He stated. He could feel Lu Ten looking at him, so he turned. 

“I’m going to be spending a lot of time with them, so I might as well enjoy it.” Zuko continued. Lu Ten looked surprised and then laughed, loud and quickly. 

“I cannot understand how you’ve changed this much. It’s like you’re a different person!” He said. The prickle jammed into Zuko’s neck now, but he smiled. 

“It’s been good to get away.” He said.

During the night, he could still hear the sounds of repairs. It would be a long journey across the sea, with very few stops. They would attempt to hit some colonies on the way, but a good portion of the trip  would be spent in open ocean. There would be nothing to see, not much to do, and food would have  to be rationed .

It wasn’t a trip he was looking forward to.

This next stop would be even more stressful for him personally. The last time he  had been to the White Tail Outpost was with Katara, looking for the Southern Raiders. It was the moment they  had actually bonded , when she  had forgiven him.

When he  had wondered .

Zuko put his hands over his face, feeling the heat form in his palms. Of all times, now was not an appropriate moment to think about that day. It was too complicated already; Zuri was definitely suspicious, while Lu Ten was either confident or pretending. The world was falling apart in ways Zuko  had never before considered . Aang was out in the world, dead or alive but ultimately inaccessible. Suki might be dead, fallen with her town.  His arms fell limp away from him. At least the heat  had left him.


	21. 21

In the morning, Zuko went looking for Sokka and Katara. He dodged lumbering trunks held up on human legs and nearly ran into an engineer carrying a large toolbox. The activity was different and Zuko wondered if it had anything to do with the messenger hawk that arrived for Lu Ten at breakfast. His cousin  had said nothing about it, only abruptly left the table, taking Zuri with him. 

Sokka and Katara were not present during breakfast, which is why he was now wandering around the campsite. 

When he made it to their tent, Zuko found it in the process of  being broken down. Not wanting to interact with the crewmen, he turned and wove his way back through the moving parts. They  must have boarded the ship already, which did not bode well. 

Distracted, Zuko once again collided with another person. He staggered backward and shrank.

“Hello your Highness. Looking for the tribals?” Zuri asked. Zuko nodded while Zuri smiled.

“They’ve gone aboard so that they  wouldn’t get lost in all the commotion.” They said. Zuko still stayed quiet and Zuri regarded him.

“Do you remember the spirit attack on your cousin?” They asked. Zuko met their gaze and nodded again.

“I remember hearing about it. Koh the Face Stealer right?” He replied.

“Koh’s presence was always a point of concern for the Fire Lord. Where had the spirit come from? The Spirit World  has been closed off to our world for millennia, and only the sagest of people can send their essence over.” Zuri said idly. 

“There are a few spirits who live in our world.” Zuko said. Zuri’s grin sent frozen fear down his spine. 

He  wasn’t supposed to know that. Only two people out of everyone that Zuko  had met outside of the North Pole knew about Tui and La; Iroh and Zhao.

“Stories, of course.” Zuko added.

“Yes, stories.” Zuri agreed. They turned,  standing staggered with Zuko to look at the ship. 

“Yet Koh lives in the Spirit World.” Zuri argued. “So he made it across.”

“Are you worried about spirits?” Zuko questioned. 

“Always.” Zuri said with a laugh. “After you come face to face with one, and it’s literally attempting to take your face, you tend to become a bit concerned.”

“But you won.” Zuko pointed out.

“That I did. But I wonder, seeing as how there’s a face stealer, if there isn’t one that can create faces.” They said. 

“Your face is fine the way it is Zuri.” Zuko replied. 

The shock of his statement caused Zuri to laugh, more genuinely than he  had seen before. Zuko  was used to keeping his emotions hidden, and  had managed to get his fear down to nervousness when speaking with others. With Zuri, he knew he had to do better. Courtly machinations weren’t going to work on someone that  had also grown up in it.

Sokka, however, was very good at disarming people. 

“Zuko, I’m more worried about your face. You don’t seem to wear it comfortably.” Zuri said pointedly. Zuko’s left eye twitched. 

“Why do you think a spirit would have any interest in me?” Zuko questioned.

“I think the spirits are more interested in your uncle.” Zuri admitted. “But I am here to protect the Fire Lord’s interests.”

“And I don’t?”

“As long as you are truly yourself Zuko, I have nothing to worry about.”

“Everyone changes Zuri. You of all people should understand that.”

“Do you remember what your uncle sent you from Ba Sing Se?” Zuri asked suddenly. 

“The knife?” Confused, Zuko pulled a face. “He sent it to me after he breached the Outer Ring.”

Zuri looked almost as confused, but settled their face into something more neutral. 

“Your cousin thinks I’m being paranoid.” They said.

“I don’t feel like myself,” Zuko said hesitantly. “But I’m still me. This trip has just been very confusing.”

“Things will get better. Lu Ten received a message from Admiral Zhao. He’ll be meeting our ship at the outpost.” Zuri said.

“What?” Zuko balked and Zuri clapped their hand on his back.

“I know, he’s a miserable old man, but I have good news! I’ll be escorting you and the tribals to the Junhae colony in an airship. Your mother is there getting the gifts ready and Lu Ten doesn’t see any point in dragging a trio of antsy teenagers across the ocean.” They explained.

“But you? I didn’t think you left Lu Ten’s side.” Zuko blurted. Zuri just shrugged.

“It’s become a military thing now. While I am the prince’s otter viper, the gilded uniforms aren’t a big fan of mine.” They said. Pushing lightly on Zuko’s back, they urged him forward. 

“Now onto the ship. The sooner we’re back in proper sunlight, the better we’ll all feel.” 

It took two days to get to the outpost, and Zuko felt just as guarded as his friends. When he left his room, a soldier was waiting for him. When he went to bed, a guard followed him through the hall. 

He took his meals with Lu Ten and Zuri, talking about casual things. Trying to glean what he could, Zuko was careful not to attract more attention from Zuri. Having them think he was a spirit in disguise was exactly what he was hoping to avoid. 

After breakfast, Zuri took him topside and practiced firebending. They were highly skilled, and Zuko focused on mirroring their steps. In this, he found more of a mental block than a lack of physical skill. Whatever physical training this version of himself had neglected had been replaced by firebending drills. 

It was disappointing to see how improved he was.

“Your form is sloppy.” Zuri said part way through their first session. Zuko frowned; he knew he was much better than he  had been prior to his exile. 

“How?” He asked.

“You’re swishing through your stances.” They said. Zuko looked to his side and saw Katara watching him intently. He looked away, embarrassed.

He  had picked it up from her, hadn’t he?

Sokka soon found his sister and lounged, clearly bored, through the rest of their practice. Then again, when Lu Ten took Zuko to the deck for sword practice, Sokka perked up.

On the second day, when they could see the outpost from the deck, Lu Ten remarked upon their audience. 

“You have to promise me not to become too enamored with their ways.” He said, moving Zuko way from his friends during a break. “Fire doesn’t fare so well in the ice.”

“I think I’ll be fine.” Zuko snapped and wiped his face. His nerves  were frayed and he felt peevish. Everyone kept hovering around him and it was getting harder to breathe. 

Lu Ten  was stone faced as he looked back at him.

“That’s what I’m hoping for.” He replied.

They arrived at the outpost as dusk settled over the rocks. Lu Ten, flanked by Zuri and Zuko, walked down the iron ramp wearing their full court attire. Seeing the crown in Lu Ten’s topknot hurt, but the crown in his own was bizarre. 

It was the one created for Ozai, the only second son  to be born in their line for generations. And as second in line for the throne, with his father exiled, Zuko’s scalp buzzed under its presence. 

At the end of the ramp stood another familiar figure, one who also should have been dead. 

“Admiral Zhao! How good it is to see you well.” Lu Ten greeted, throwing his arms out. Zhao and his men bowed low as they all approached. 

“Welcome your Highness.” Zhao replied and stood. 

“I was expecting more nerves.” Zuri remarked and Zhao scowled.

“Of my best admiral? Likely he thinks of this next task as another sort of occupation.” Lu Ten replied. 

“Marriage isn’t something to be afraid of.” Zhao said.

“So why have you been avoiding it?” Zuri shot back.

Zuko furrowed his brow at the back and forth. 

“I’ve simply had more important things to do than take a wife.” Zhao said.

“I’m sure your cold nature will be perfect for the Ice Princess.” Zuri laughed and Zhao growled low in his throat. 

“I do believe my father has similar thoughts on marriage, all things considered.” Lu Ten interjected, smiling at the darkening of Zhao’s features. “Now, Admiral, may we talk, man to man?”

Zuri drew on an ugly face, looking like an oni for the briefest of moments. Lu Ten ignored them, moving to Zhao and turning him to walk back to the outpost. 

“ _ Yatsu _ .” Zuri hissed under their breath. Zuko didn’t know if they were talking about Zhao or Lu Ten.

The men Zhao brought with him ushered them inside, taking them away from where Lu Ten and Zhao were heading. Whatever the military importance, Zuri’s exclusion  had already begun and they weren’t happy about it. It made them more talkative, though most of it involved swearing and calling down curses.

“Your uncle wouldn’t do this to me. He knows how valuable I am.” Zuri remarked as they continued further into the outpost. The soldiers were ahead of them and Zuko kept glancing to see if they were listening. 

“I really thought you and Lu Ten were, close.” Zuko said hesitantly. Zuri snorted.

“No one is close to your cousin.” They said, then paused. Looking over at Zuko, they regarded him with suspicion.

“I am close to him, more than anyone else.” They stated before facing forward. “Closer than even his own father.” 

A form of lover’s jealousy then, instead of power grabbing. 

“Whose idea was it for you to take me to Junhae?” Zuko asked. Zuri recoiled and glared at him.

“I told you, we all have our parts.” They said. “Plus your mother likes me more than the military brats.”

Zuko held his tongue and only mumbled through his goodbye when Zuri shoved him into a room. When the door shut, he moved over to the bed and sat down.

It was another dark metal box, with red banners and red lanterns. There was little difference between this one and his room on the ship; the size and window were reprieves. 

He fell backward, staring out the open window and seeing the thin sliver of the waxing moon. Steps  were being taken out of order, but he was marching down the same road. Zhao would be in the North Pole and there was a plot simmering in Lu Ten’s mind. Surely they wouldn’t attempt the same gambit; killing Tui would have a devastating effect on the entire world. 

Except there were so many variables. Almost all of the Fire Nation family would be in the North Pole, his living mother included. Zuri suspected that he was a spirit, which put him in immense danger. Aang was missing, which felt more agonizing than when Zuko  had initially begun his search for the Avatar. Yet the biggest, and most horrifying, was the knowledge that Zhao  was now Yue’s intended . 

Zuko unpinned the crown and held it above his face, turning it in his hands. His father  had worn this, sitting in every royal portrait at Iroh’s side. They always made Iroh look taller.

“Why am I here?” Zuko asked of the crown. It didn’t respond.

He  had always asked too much of the crown. 


	22. 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is being posted early due to logistics. Zuko's been doing a lot of either sleeping or freaking out, or both. So now that he's off the boat, the story is going to actually hit some plot, which means I need to actually think about how these micro-scenes are connecting in the long run. (Reference the plot holes in the previous chapters.) So the next update might be a hot second to build up a good, this-actually-makes-sense buffer. Familiar faces are coming up really fast so be prepared. See you soon and Blessed Solstice, Happy Hannukah, Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanza, and the most wonderful holidays to you and yours.

There was more bedrooms , more sleepless nights, and more uncomfortable meals. Zuko’s life existed within a varied boxes, not doing much at all. At first, it was helpful, giving him the opportunity to get his bearings. Now, everything felt too close. Zuri was watching him, Sokka and Katara were behind too many doors, and Lu Ten had become a smiling figure in doorways.

While at the outpost, Zuko had to avoid everyone, but especially Zhao. Seeing him again, after watching the man drown with his pride, made Zuko more ill than being around Lu Ten. His cousin had died years ago and in another country. Zuko had tried to save Zhao.

More doors closed as the troll lieutenants and Zhao spoke with Lu Ten. The rooms became smaller as Zuri rifled through books and swore. There was a garotte slowly tightening around Zuko’s neck.

When the airship arrived, Zuko nearly wept in relief. He knew it would be no better, taking on another monotonous routine. But anything would be better than this waiting.

Except the airship also proved to smaller. Sokka and Katara were closer, and they all ate together, but always under Zuri’s eye. 

He drilled with Zuri. They both looked for weakness, for openings to exploit, but of differing natures. Sokka and Katara again watched the exercises, and Zuko could see the curiosity grow. Obviously, there was a limit to bending practice, but when the air was clear Zuri would take him out onto an observation deck. 

Now, Zuko tried to keep his forms proper, without slipping into the styles Iroh had taught him. His uncle had learned a lot from the other nations, bringing them into balance within himself. Zuko might not be able to create lightning, but at least he was adaptable. 

After some time, Zuri relaxed a bit and allowed Sokka and Zuko to play pai sho. An empathetic soldier had given Katara a book and she sat reading nearby.

They did not speak. Neither did they have clandestine meetings at night. After their time at the Air Temple, it was understood that trust had to be renegotiated.

When the captain made an announcement that they would be landing, Zuko felt like the airship had shrunk. His anxiety was palpable and Zuri made the choice to keep away from him. Without the drills, more and more of Zuko’s nerves built up. 

He remembered the last time he saw his mother. She was fleeing the palace, having made the choice to take one life to spare her son’s. Zuko knew that now, after seeing how certain events had played out here being reflected in the consequences from his own timeline. The motive confused him here, as Lu Ten hadn’t perished and therefore there was no reason for Ursa to make the trade. 

Then again, as rumor went, it wasn’t Ozai that made the request of her this time.

Zuko tried to imagine what kind of person Iroh could be if he ordered the murder of his own father. With Ozai, it was easy to understand; everything his father did had been enacted through cruelty and sinister calculation. But this Iroh had ended the Ice Raids, was de-escalating the war, and had still ended the siege at Ba Sing Se. How could he have ordered Azulon’s poisoning?

Seeing his mother would change things again. Lu Ten had been only a memory to Zuko, so he couldn’t compare this man to the adolescent in Zuko’s past. Ursa was a real person, whose choices had left a profound effect on him.

He was both excited beyond words and terrified to his core about seeing her again. The fear of falling apart at the sight of her was also a constant worry that ate at the back of his thoughts. She was a shrewd woman, she had to be to survive Ozai, but she had also been kind. At a smile or a touch, Zuko wondered if he would collapse and expose everything.

The airship landed at midday and Zuko was ready. Again, he and Zuri wore their Fire Nation court attire. Sensing something important, both Sokka and Katara had brushed out their hair and aired their clothes to look more presentable. 

The ramp lowered, but Zuko couldn’t see from the overhang of the ship. Zuri nudged him, reminding him of his status. As a prince, second in line for the throne, he was the first to step into the warm sunlight. 

A rank of soldiers stood, masks gleaming, on either side of the tall woman. She looked exactly as she had in his memories. Her long black hair was clipped back, falling in shining lines down her back. She still wore a topknot and Zuko felt sick at the sight of the crown. Iroh was a widower and Ursa had stepped in to fulfill the functions of the Fire Lady, but the image was unpleasant. 

His feet felt like they were made out of lead and Zuko had to focus on not crying. This was something he had wanted for years. His mother stood before him, smiling gently at his approach. He tried to remember court protocol, but his mind was spinning.

Blood rushed in his ears and he couldn’t hear the sounds of the yard. He could barely hear his own footsteps on the metal ramp. In public, he knew how to act and his muscle memory kicked in as he got closer. His spine straightened and his face went neutral; easier to do without the scar to twist his eye and cheek. Ursa held herself much in the same way, but did not lose the gentle smile.

“Mother.” Zuko said when he reached her. He bowed and let out a shaky breath before straightening.

“My son. I am so glad to see you well.” Ursa said and put a hand on his cheek. He expected the chill touch of a specter and took in a sharp breath at the warmth. Ursa lowered her hand and nodded to Zuri.

“Thank you for taking care of him.” She said. Zuri bowed with a flourish and stood smiling brightly. 

“It was an honor.” They replied. Zuko turned away from them but had his gaze drawn inexorably back to his mother. Zuko wondered if Ursa had been plucked from his timeline and deposited here as well. Then she would not have perished, and perhaps replaced the murderess that worked for his uncle. She was free and happy, and would be kind. 

“And I see we have our guests?” Ursa asked, peering over them. Zuko turned and saw Sokka and Katara slowly approach. Their presence was a surprise as Zuko already forgot about the rest of the world. They looked unfamiliar now, standing in their worn out furs like a stain of blue in a pure field of red. 

“Lady Ursa, may I introduce Sokka and Katara of the South Pole.” Zuri said. Ursa smiled at the siblings and Katara looked away. Zuko frowned, seeing the trepidation, and recognizing it so intimately. 

“Welcome. I hope you enjoy your stay here before we move onto the North Pole.” Ursa said.

“Thank you.” Katara mumbled and blushed.

“Now, I must excuse myself. My son and I have much to discuss.” Ursa said and turned to look at Zuko.

“Zuko.” She said.

Her words from his past rippled up and Zuko felt his eyes and throat sting.

“Yes mother.” He said. They walked past the soldiers and Zuko glanced over at Ursa. She held her head high and her hands hidden in her sleeves, keeping her arms barred across her abdomen. He wanted to talk to her, to ask her a thousand questions, to embrace her and prove that she was really there. That she was really there with him and not dead in some nameless place.

Zuko didn’t notice the airshipyard. He didn’t look around at the workers or who was unloading the ship. He didn’t look back at his friends. 

He could only keep looking at his mother. 


End file.
